Divorce, death, whatever reason ... how would I carry on?Could I get past her deceit those many years ago and forgive her? At first I didn't think so. But now ... now I'm not so certain. She couldn't take it back. She couldn't make it right at this late date. Could I live with that as well? She had to admit to her sin before I could decide. She had to acknowledge that she had inflicted another deep wound in me.And what about this act I had performed. The new, dominant Howard Carver. It was an act. I knew that. Could I sustain it? I doubted it. Perhaps in some less aggressive and challenging form. Someone I could actually become without disliking myself. I knew I would never be able to return to the softer, weaker person I had been. Edie would never respect me if I did and I would likely find her seeking another man once again. What would it take to create that excitement that she craved?Nothing had changed from yesterday. I still needed to know more about her. There were still. I replied by telling her I'm single and I wish I had a girlfriend! I asked if she was offering and we had a little joke together. We made conversation for a while but people in the library got a little pissed off at us for talking. She suggested we have a break and go for a walk. By this time it was nearly 2am and hardly anyone was around apart from having their heads stuck in books. We left and she said she knew a place that we could have a little quiet. We went to another floor of the building and walked towards the toilet's. I got very excited at this point! She said no one ever comes to this floor after hours so we wouldn't be disturbed. We walked around a corner and she started to kiss me really passionately. I couldn't believe my luck here!! I thought I was in! e made our way to the bathroom and didn't bother stopping to see if anyone was inside. The place was empty!I mentioned that I hadn't got a condom and she said she just wanted to suck me off. We carried on.
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